


Trust

by the-eagle-of-masyaf (Dunkelherz)



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: AU, Anal, Anal Sex, Angst, Assassin's Creed - Freeform, BDSM, Blood, Bloodplay, Bondage, Complete, D/s, Established Relationship, Fingering, Flashbacks, Gag, Hurt/Comfort, Kinbaku (Japanese Rope Bondage), Kink Meme, M/M, Male!Dom, Male/Male, Master/Slave, PTSD, Romance, Rope Bondage, Sexual Content, Sexual Violence, Slash, Spanking, Tickling, Triggers, Wax, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:09:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dunkelherz/pseuds/the-eagle-of-masyaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malik liked to believe that ever since he and Altair had started to live the life of assassins each of them had been very lonely. Not to give into the burning craving of being with the one you trusted most, maybe even loved, was a battle he couldn't fight any longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The rope was tight around his wrist, eating its way into his skin leaving only raw flesh. The muscles in his arm have started to hurt a long time ago when it was bent behind his back, his hand shoved between his shoulderblades, the tight rope around his neck connected with the one securing the limb behind his back. He'd learned the more he struggled the more he would cut off his air circulation so he tried keeping his hand as high as possible for only to breath a little bit more. His knees hurt from where he was forced to the ground, kneeling in front of his master, his eyes focused on the dirty floor before him as he had been ordered. His gaze was nothing but an angry glare and his cheek still stung from the slap his disobedience had earned him earlier. Naked as the day he was born sweat was already glistening on the tanned skin of his chest. He heard the rustling of clothes and only seconds later a pair of filthy boots filled his field of view as the man knelt on one knee in front of him.

"I don't think you're in any position to talk back the way you just did, don't you think?" The husky voice washed over his body and he couldn't help but shudder. He felt fingertips pressing against his chin forcing it upwards so he could meet his eyes and as soon as his brown orbs found those of him he felt like he could lose himself in the vortex of gold. Those fingers found their way tight around his jaw keeping it in a merciless strong hold.

Malik kept silence.

A lazily, cruel smile tugged at the corner of the lips hovering just inches above his face and he felt the need to lean closer, just a little more, to run his tongue across them but he kept still. Another hand pushed against his right shoulder forcing him to sit on his heels before it withdraw again only for his fingers to brush gently over his chest. The grip on his jaw never loosened and he pressed his lips together as those fingers found a nipple, squeezing and twisting hard.

"And here I thought I'd need to gag you again. You impress me." A low chuckle escaped Altair's lips and the squeezing stopped. He draw back immediately to rose again taking slow steps out of Malik's sight. "Although that foul mouth of yours disappoints me."

And another slap met his cheek. The force would have been strong enough to make him tumble had he not been sitting on his heels. He tasted the iron of blood in his mouth and spat out.

"Fuck you", Malik hissed quietly, but not quiet enough for Altair not to hear. He was grabbed by his hair his head pulled up as Altair stood behind him, the angry flare in his eyes meeting Malik's.

"I don't think I understood you correctly. Care to repeat yourself?", he asked and his voice was a very soft whisper.

Malik just stared not even thinking of answering Altair's request. Two could play this game and hell, he liked to provoke him, to drive Altair further still. He heard him taking another step closer so Malik's head rested against the other's crotch – through the thin fabric of his trousers he could feel Altair's already erect cock.

A sudden push against his shoulders sent him face first onto the floor. Since his arm was securely tied behind his back there was no way of breaking the fall. The impact drew the air out of his lungs and before he could manage any attempt to get back up again he felt one of his boots pressing against his neck keeping him in place.

"No, I think I like seeing you down there." He heard those words from above and behind him and this new position made Malik very aware of his rock hard dick pressing against his stomach.

After all this was what he wanted.

He couldn't remember anymore when or how it had started. As teens they had often explored each other bodies, always fearing to get caught for men actions like these were forbidden and would be punished with death. It was back then, when they had been friends not driven apart by competitiveness and Altair's arrogance and at some times Malik would had thought that they had shared more than a friendship. But when they grew older they had also slowly drifted apart.

Malik liked to believe that ever since he and Altair had started to live the life of an assassin each of them had been very lonely. Not to give into the burning craving of being with the one you trusted most, maybe even had loved, was a battle he couldn't fight any longer.

Maybe it was one of those times after he'd lost his arm were they had one of their heated arguments that had led to a fight where they ended on the ground, both of them struggling to hold the upper hand and it had ended with him on his back, Altair sitting upon his hips, pinning his one remaining arm above his head noticing the tenting in Malik's pants. He'd glared angrily at Altair who reacted with one oh those smirks he wanted to punch right of off his face. Back then, Malik had figured since there was so much anger and hatred between them, angry and rough sex was the only way for them to be with each other. After all his brother and his arm were not the only things he'd lost in Solomon's Temple – he'd also lost Altair even though he had lost him long before that but had never wanted to accept that fact. Friendship held no place in the life of an assassin and neither did love. Simple as that.

But this, yelling at each other, fighting and rolling around the floor, it was both their ways of surrender. When Altair had noticed his stiffening cock his hands had found their way into his pants. He had laughed and taunted Malik for his body reactions not realizing how much more he'd turned the other one on. In the end they had both laid spent on the floor, their breathing hard and erratic after they had reached their climax. Since then their relationship had taken another turn.

After Solomon's Temple and the loss of his arm and brother, as the bloody and cruel reality of an assassin's life had caught up with them it had taken a long time for Malik to forgive Altair. But after each mission the fallen assassin had returned to him he'd always seen how much Altair had changed.

And now?

Now with the Order at the dawn of an new era everything had changed. Solomon's Temple was two years ago and Malik couldn't lie to himself anymore.

At first Malik would have thought that their rough way of fucking was just an excuse to not let the feelings in, to keep them under a layer of anger – but not anymore, not after all they've been through.

The truth was he fucking _liked_ to be submissive, to be dominated by such a powerful creature as Altair. He loved it to fuck another man and to be fucked by one. He loved every single second of it and he wanted _-needed-_ more. Needed more of anything that Altair could give to him but most of all he wanted to _trust_. This was it, wasn't it? It was all about trust – what could be greater than something like that? He, Malik, a former assassin and still member of the order, who killed many people and who only once got almost killed - who had always lived with the danger of getting betrayed, accepting missions that could well lead to his death - would trust another being to tie him up, to dominate him, to even control his breathing? This man that hold this power over him, he trusted with his life. And Malik couldn't think of another person he would trust more.

A sudden movement from behind him pulled Malik from his train of thoughts as hot, stinging pain spread from his back to every fiber of his body. He tried to turn his head to see what was going on behind his back, but Altair's boot hold him firmly in place still.

"Do I have your attention now?", he heard him asking, his voice low.

Again he felt the pain and this time he could move his head just a little to watch Altair standing above him a thick candle in one of his hands, dripping the hot wax over his body.

"I didn't give you permission to move, did I?" His tone was mocking.

The hand with the candle moved from his shoulders over his bound arm, down his back to his bottom, further down his legs till it reached the sensitive sole of his feet. He inhaled quietly as the pressure on his neck was gone but took another sharp breath in as the same boot found his left leg. He tried to keep still, anxiety and excitement rolling in waves through his body as he heard another rustle of fabric. Out of the corner of his eyes he could watch Altair crouching next to his left leg, Altair's left shin pressed into the back of Malik's knee keeping his leg in place.

One single finger brushed over the left sole of his foot and Malik couldn't help but twitching at the tickling sensation. Altair repeated the movement and soon added another finger. It kept getting harder and harder to hold still for Malik – he didn't want to move and not because his master had told him so but he didn't want to give Altair the satisfaction showing his suffering. As the other man dug his nails into the soft skin of his foot and pulled them all the way from his heel up to his toes Malik's breathing became heavier. As he added a third finger his leg started to twitch and he tried to pull away. He could hear the soft thud of the candle being set aside on the floor before Altair used his now unoccupied second hand to hold his leg down.

"Don't you like it?", he heard Altair asking, amusement swinging within his voice.

He felt Altair lifting his leg as his hand grabbed his foot to raise it off the floor. His fingers found the space between his toes and as much as he tried Malik couldn't hold the sounds any longer inside nor could he hold any longer still. He tried to pull his foot free from Altair's grip as soft laughter escaped his lips.

"St-op it", he breathed as he squirmed from side to side biting down on his lips to keep the laughter inside.

And to Malik's surprise it did stop. He watched Altair moving around him opening the door on the opposite side of the room which lead to the main bureau. He kept staring at the door as he tried to breath in and out very slowly to relax his body again. It did only take a few seconds for the other man to return one of his hands hiding something behind his back. A charismatic smile flashed over his lips as he looked down at Malik and he took back the same position from before, sitting behind him at the end of his legs. No, not the same. Malik tried to move his head more to his left as he was trying to see what Altair was doing.

"Spread your legs a little for me", he ordered, his tone cold and not anywhere near holding the warmth of the smile he had just given him. Slowly Malik did as he was told – his curiosity of what Altair was hiding was too big as to disobey.

He could see how Altair turned his back to him before he lowered himself to the floor and moved one of his legs over Malik's left one. In this new position Malik's leg was between the one's of Altair, keeping it secure and tight. His master sat just below his knee, his back facing Malik. One hand found his foot again and lifted it up so Malik had to bent his knee to follow the forced movement.

"I heard your wish, Malik. But I think you'll soon wish you wouldn't have asked me to stop. Next time," Altair turned his head for he knew Malik was watching him and he met his eyes, "try to specify your wishes."

With the last word spoken Malik's eyes went wide as he watched the feather dancing between Altair's fingers. He watched him turning it around, the quill pointing to his bare foot now. Before Malik could react in any way the quill found its target. It was dragged over his foot, over and over again, sometimes found its way between his toes before it went down to his heel and up to his toes again. But this time, this time Malik couldn't be quiet, couldn't hold still. This was pure torture, something he'd never experienced before, something Altair never had done before to him. The sensation he felt was new the rough material of the quill hurting and tickling all at the same time, its touch sending waves of agony and pleasure through his body.

He was trapped, helpless and at Altair's mercy. The tickling was absolutely tormenting for him and in fact he had been hating it ever since he was a child. For Altair to use it now against him in an attempt of sexual power was... literally breathtaking.

His upper body buckled off the ground, his right leg trying to kick into Altair's side as he fought like a fish on the land for air and the more he moved the tighter the rope around his neck got. Soon it became very hard to breath, his laughter went silent as he didn't have the air for it anymore.

It suddenly stopped and his body went immediately limp.

Altair didn't move and kept sitting on his leg, his head tilted to one side as he watched with amusement Malik's struggle for breath.

The tips of his fingers brushed over his bare sole and as soon as they touched his flesh he tried to pull away, a quiet laughter erupting from his throat. Altair's fingers stopped. "Quite sensitive, aren't you now?"

Malik's left side of his face found the floor and he was glad for the coolness that was pressing now against his skin. He closed his eyes still trying to even his breathing, to make the dancing black spots in front of his eyes disappear. He felt tired and absolutely at Altair's mercy. He couldn't move any longer, his muscles too tired from the spasms which were caused by the tickling.

He felt Altair shifting before something hot, very hot, splashed onto the sole of his foot.

He had forgotten the candle.

The wax burned on his skin and it felt like a thousand needles pressing into the soft flesh at once – not ever before had hot wax felt like this on his body. Who would've thought that Altair could still think of something new after they had tried so many things together?

But his body was too tired, he couldn't move and just had to endure the procedure. The wax was poured unforgivable onto his foot until it was completely covered with it and when it was, Malik dared to open his eyes again.

The weight on his leg changed as Altair got up again.

He watched a pair of boots getting closer before they stopped right next to his head. Altair knelt down as he grabbed Malik's hair to lift his head off the ground. "You know what Malik?", he whispered into his ear, his hot breath crawling over his skin. He yanked painfully at his hair as he didn't give him an answer.

"W-what?", he forced out, still short of breath.

"We have to remove that wax from your foot again..."

"No!" Before Malik could have stopped it it came out of his mouth. Not again – at least not so soon.

"... and from the rest of your body. I don't like my lover to be dirty." Altair let go of his hair. "Get up."

For a moment Malik just stared at him as Altair got up and showed him his back one of his hands sitting on his hip, his foot tapping in annoyance on the ground.

Slowly, very slowly he rose. He pulled his legs beneath his body before he could force his weight on his knees and from there stood on both his feet although he tried to put more of his weight onto his right unharmed foot. Trembling, he kept himself up straight.

Altair turned around and eyed him. He examined him from head to toe and Malik watched how his eyes lingered on his waist and on his still very hard, very pre-cum leaking cock.

He grinned at him. "Aren't you beautiful right now", he told him and Malik had to close his eyes as desire threatened to burn him alive. He felt Altair moving until he could feel the man's breath upon his face. Altair moved against him, his hips touching his and one hand wrapped around his cock, stroking as gently as if his touch was that of a ghost. Malik leaned into him seeking more of the small friction.

Altair took him into an one-armed embrace, his hand spread flat against his back right beneath his bound arm while the other continued with its movement.

"Is this what you want?", he whispered into Malik's ear and Malik felt goosebumps rising over his arm. His tongue felt thick with lust as he slowly parted his lips, wetting them and he only dared to nod, not trusting his own voice.

The hand on his back moved and the impact of Altair's flat hand on his buttocks forced him more into the embrace. A soft gasp crawled its way out of his throat and he leaned his forehead onto Altair's shoulder. The hand around his cock tightened its grip as Altair slowly started to jerk him off. Again Altair slapped his backside and a third and a fourth time before he drew his nails over the reddening skin, kneading it and hitting him again and again.

The spanking became stronger with each strike and even if Malik had tried to he couldn't keep up and count them but soon found himself moaning into Altair's shoulder, pushing himself deeper into the hand that was playing his cock in such a wonderful way. The skin of his ass felt hot and every now and then, Altair would stop to pinch or scratch him before he continued with his spanking.

A tight, hot knot started to build inside his lower stomach and Malik knew he was close, so very close to come.

But as his breathing started to get erratic and his legs threatened to give away something changed. Altair leaned closer, brushing his lips over Malik's temple and down to his jar before his tongue moved over his throat to his ear and back again, leaving a wet trail behind all the while never stopping with the spanking. The hits were forceful now, pushing Malik more into Altair's body with every hit and he was sure they didn't only hurt him but also Altair's hand. The sound of Altair's flat palm meeting the skin of Malik's backside over and over again echoed loudly within the small room and Malik cried out softly, groaning with each impact.

His legs were trembling now and he wished his arm wasn't bound behind his back because he needed to hold on to something desperately. He felt dizzy, his breathing far to shallow for his own liking as the blood whooshed loudly in his own ears.

One last hard slap was given before Altair stopped and both of his arms encircled Malik.

"Should I stop Malik?", Altair whispered, and Malik thought he could have come just then and there by the way how Altair spoke his name, how each letter rolled over his tongue.

His backside stung terribly but he shook his head. "No", he croaked, surprised that he was able to form the word at all. Altair stepped away and it took all of Malik's willpower to not fall over.

"Open your eyes", he was told and Malik slowly did his gaze unfocused as he had the feeling of just waking up. Altair stood in front of him the look on his face almost gentle.

His eyes scanned Altair's body. He was fully clothed except for his white robes and it made Malik all the way more aware of who was in charge right now. He swallowed, his throat suddenly very dry. Through the fabric of Altair's pants Malik could clearly see his arousal. His shoulders were broad, his stomach flat and Malik wanted nothing more than to ran his hands over those muscled arms.

"Tell me how you feel."

Malik blinked, looking dumbfounded at Altair.

"Do I need to repeat myself?", Altair asked as he arched one elegant eyebrow and he crossed his arms over his chest.

Malik shook his head not really sure if he understood correctly. There was a ringing in his ears and the loud flow of his blood made it difficult for him to listen – everything felt out of place.

He opened his mouth, "I-" and shook his head again, before his eyes focused on Altair, his pupils dilated.

"Fine", he finally manged to say and knew it was the wrong answer as Altair shook his head and sighed. He watched him taking a small step forward but didn't see the hand coming that hit his ear, making him stumble. The ringing in his head got louder as his vision became blurred.

Altair took his former position back and stood in front of Malik. "How do you feel?", he asked again and Malik tried to think but it was hard to focus. His cock was aching for some attention, his backside hurt as it was on fire and the slap Altair had just given him added to the dizziness he felt.

He licked his lips as he took a deep breath. "My foot – still hurts and... it tingles a little."

Altair took one step forward and Malik looked up, his chest almost touching Altair's. His fingers started to tingle too.

"My... I- want to... I _want_." Why was it so hard to form the words he wanted to say?

Altair lifted one hand and pushed it flat against his chest.

"What do you want?" Altair's fingers traced invisible lines over his chest down to his ribs. He squirmed as those fingers found a ticklish spot.

What he wanted? He repeated the words in his head thinking hard as everything else started to get swallowed by fog.

In the past, Altair had done many things to him. He'd hit him, spanked him, tied him in every position he could think of and one time he had tied a small leather string around the base of his cock and kept him from coming for hours. Altair liked to test him, always wanted to see how far he could go and Malik was just as curious. Truth was he was addicted to Altair's touch, to the feeling of his hands on his body, addicted to the attention he got from him.

"Hurt me", he whispered and wasn't sure if he really just said that. He felt his dick throbbing with need as waves of heat rushed through his body. Malik stared sideways before his eyes found Altair's gaze again and he stared back at him. "Hurt me", he repeated his voice cracking and it almost sounded desperately.

Altair smiled, his fingers squeezing one of his nipples and Malik took a sharp breath of air.

"Please", he heard himself begging and wondered what was different this time for him to start to beg so early in their game.

Altair stood closer and his lips gently brushed over his before they crushed together. Teeth against teeth and Malik opened his mouth eagerly as his tongue invaded him, tracing the line of his lips before exploring. It was a sloppy, wet and heated kiss that left both of them panting.

Altair ran his hands over his shoulders down his back and up again until one of his hands found the one of Malik's and they encircled their fingers as good as possible. Malik's legs started to move as Altair pressed against him, walking them both backwards until he stumbled over cushions on the floor.

"Turn around", Altar whispered between small kisses and Malik did. "On your knees please."

He let himself fall softly until he hit the cushions and the thin sleeping mat on the floor. He heard a soft thud as Altair knelt behind him. The sound of a knife slipping out of its pocket caught his attention and seconds later he felt the cold steel pressing against his ribs.

"If I were you I would hold still", Altair whispered into his ear as one hand took a hold of his balls cupping them gently while the other pulled the knife from his ribs. With the tip of the blade he felt Altair remove the dried wax on his back and thighs. Malik hissed when not only the wax but also some of his body hair was removed. The blade danced over his heated skin and with every move that Altair made the grip on his balls got tighter. Malik groaned as Altair bent to remove the wax on his foot and tensed but relaxed soon as he realized that Altair didn't plan to tickle him more. He let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding and felt Altair's hand tightening some more. The pressure around his balls increased as the pain slowly found its way into his lust-fogged brain. There was a battle going on between the crushing pain that grew with every second and the sheer desire he felt being hold like that by Altair. He was panting now and sweat was dropping down his temple.

"Too much for you?", Altair asked and Malik could almost hear the grin within his voice. He leaned a little bit forward pressing him further into Altair's grip. It was enough of an answer. Altair's fingers grew tight and this time Malik couldn't stop himself but yelp at the sudden increase of the pressure. He was sure if Altair would keep up with it there would be bruising tomorrow morning.

With a clatter the knife fell to the ground. Altair scratched his nails over his ribcage leaving red marks on their way down to his stomach. Malik whimpered as Altair drew his nails over his body one more time while at the same time his hand crushed his balls in an almost merciless way.

"Fuck!", he grunted, biting down on his lips, panting and sweating as he felt as if he would lose consciousness by the hot pain that exploded in a white light behind his eyes as he closed them. He felt his cheeks wet and suddenly realized that he was crying.

Altair let his balls go and instead his hand found his neglected member and started to stroke softly, his thumb playing with the tip.

Malik almost thought that it was too much. The pain that was fading only slowly and the pleasure he felt rising from Altair's actions were mixing together, melting into each other that he wasn't sure anymore what to feel and what it was he felt. What he knew was that he wanted it, that he _needed_ it. He was close, very close and he started to moan uncontrollably, rocking his hips forward to seek more of the forbidden touch. His head rolled back and found support on one of Altair's shoulders. His fingers clenched with the rhythm of Altair stroking him, his mouth hung shamelessly open and almost everything around him was forgotten. The blood rushed through his body, his feet and hand started to tingle and he felt so much - all the things all together; pain, lust, humiliation, trust, comfort, pleasure, desire, need, vulnerability, want – if this continued he would fall into the abyss of total bliss.

Altair stopped and Malik's eyes snapped open.

"No. Not yet", Altair breathed, tickling the skin next to his ear and his voice was husky. "Not yet", he repeated and Malik could have screamed from frustration.

"Turn around and lay on your back."

It took a moment for the words to find their way into Malik's brain and for him to understand them. He was at the edge of orgasm and his mind was too far gone for him to obey immediately. Slowly, he let himself down until his side would touch the thin mattress and he rolled around, his bound hand and wrist digging into his back making it painful for him to lie like that. He looked up at Altair and found his eyes, licking his own lips and slightly parting his legs as to invite the other man.

"Slut", Altair grinned before he straddled Malik's lap. He leaned over him, his arm outstretched as his hand felt for something on the floor. He found what he was looking for holding the knife up for Malik to see.

"I like those marks on you", he told him the tip of the blade hovering over his skin as it followed the red marks his nails had created earlier. Malik's eyes never left the blade, his breathing just a little bit faster as he felt curious and a little bit of fear of what Altair might have planned for him.

"It's not enough." And the blade pressed down into his ribs – not deep enough to leave a scar, but deep enough to draw droplets of blood.

Malik hissed. It wasn't really painful but it felt uncomfortable and stung a little. He closed his eyes as Altair withdraw the blade just to cut the skin on his hip.

"You're mine Malik", Altair whispered as he bent over his body, his lips pressing against his neck as the blade cut into his body on various places over and over again. His weight shifted and Malik felt the sharp metal tore through the skin on his right shoulder before it continued to his left one and suddenly the world turned.

The cushions he lay upon faded as did the warmth of the room. He couldn't feel his body nor Altair sitting on his hips anymore as his mind started to float into an uneasy fog of memories. In the distance he could hear someone screaming and the agony that swung with it was heartbreaking. He felt hands pressing down onto his body while someone was pressing a damp cloth over his mouth and nose. He opened his eyes and was surprised to look into the face of Al Mualim.

" _Hush my child_ ", he heard the voice of the grand master invading his ears, the words wrapping around him like a blanket.

" _All_ _will_ _be over soon. Hold_ _him_ _down_." And then he felt it. The hands on his left shoulder and injured arm, he heard the tearing of his clothes as they cut through his ruined robes. A string of leather was tied around his arm and he turned his head just to watch as one of the men hold up a knife. The blade found its way into his arm breaking skin and muscles and he screamed and screamed and screamed as he tried to pull away to stop the madness but the hands just wouldn't let him. His legs and shoulders were hold in place by iron grips as the blade cut deeper into his arm forcing its way through his flesh. After what felt like hours the man stopped and Malik's screams turned into sobs. " _Let_ _me go_ ", he whispered as he didn't have any more of his strength left. He couldn't fight anymore and all he wanted to do was to sleep now.

" _All_ _will_ _be_ _over soon_.", spoke Al Mualim's voice again and Malik turned his head to watch the master leave. He heard the sound of metal next to his left ear his head spinning around to watch just in time how the saw gnawed its way into his broken arm. He could hear the breaking of the bone right next to his screams. He waited for unconsciousness but it wouldn't come. It just wouldn't come...

"Safety and peace, safety and peace, safety and peace!" Malik screamed the words over and over again his body tossing as tears run down his cheeks and it wouldn't stop. He felt a slap to his right cheek and then another one to his left. His eyes snapped open and he saw Altair bent over him, the bloody blade in his hand, his eyes wide in fear. Malik's eyes focused upon the blade and he pressed his heels into the floor trying to get as far away as possible from Altair as panic was rising within him with every second.

"Malik, stop!" Altair's voice rang through his ears and the sharp command made him halt in his movements. Panting, crying, almost hyperventilating Malik kept still as he stared up at Altair, fear written all over his face.

Altair reached for him with one hand but draw it back as he watched Malik flinch. His outstretched arm sunk back to his side as he sat upon his heels, his eyes roaming over Malik's body to look for any serious injury that could have caused the sudden flash of panic.

"What is wrong boy?", he asked in a gentle voice as if he would talk to a child that had just woken up from a nightmare.

Malik's eyes scanned the room as if he had to make sure that this was real and not the memories he had just witnessed inside his mind. Then they found Altair the soft light of the candle bathing his skin in a warm golden glow.

Malik moved his mouth, opened and closed it again as if he wanted to say something but he couldn't find the words, couldn't find his voice to form them either. Altair moved closer again and this time Malik just watched him as the other man used his body as a blanket and finally cradled Malik in his arms. One of his hands stroke his back in a soothing manner while the other used the blade to cut the rope that was tied around Malik's neck and arm. As soon as the other one was free Altair massaged the tortured muscles to ease the pain as the blood flow back into it.

They just lay there for a couple of minutes, Malik still spilling tears quietly but the longer Altair waited the more the breathing of him would settle and became less erratic. He turned onto his back and took Malik with him so he could rest his head on Altair's shoulder. Gentle fingers brushed through his hair as his lips found the corner of Malik's mouth.

"Malik?" Altair finally asked and broke the silence that had settled around them in a comfortable way.

"Yes?", Malik asked and his voice sounded rough and raw.

"Do you want to tell me?"


	2. Chapter 2

He stared at the ceiling not knowing how to answer the question. His heart was still racing and there was a small spark of desire still burning within his lower abdomen but his arousal was completely gone since the cold fist of panic had crushed everything inside of him.

"No", he finally decided to answer as Altair moved into a different position and he felt his gaze burning into him.

"I need to know, Malik", his words were whispered into his ear, soon followed by a soft kiss. "You screaming our safe-word is something I don't want to experience again."

No, Malik didn't want that either. Truth be told, he was still _terrified_. The snippets of his memories had been short, very short, but it had felt as if it just happened. Nothing like he'd ever experienced before, nothing he wanted to ever experience again. For months he didn't have had any memories at all of the time he'd spent in delirium after they had cut off his arm. He was told that he was conscious during some time, but he couldn't recall those moments. After a year the first memories had returned in his dreams. He hadn't slept well ever since. But this – _this_ – was something new and now he was scared that it might happen again.

He sighed as he made his decision. "Fuck you Altair. There won't be a next time so you have nothing to worry about. Now, let me up", he murmured as he tried to push the arm away that was wrapped around his chest but Altair's hold got stronger.

"No", his voice was a deep growl and for a moment Malik considered to do as he was told. "You can't run away from your demons this time."

With this, Malik shoved Altair forcefully off him, using his one elbow to sit up. He glared down at him.

"What?", he hissed as he felt the anger rise within him.

Altair propped himself up using his elbows as well. He caught Malik's gaze and hold it. "Stay with me." It almost sounded kind but didn't help to soothe Malik's anger.

"Fuck this", he told Altair and got up, walking to the opposite wall to grab his pants and robe which lay in one corner of the room. He stood with his pants in his hands before he turned around to glare at Altair who hadn't moved at all.

"Get up. Get out of this bureau and go finish your mission as you had originally planed Altair." He pulled on his pants not caring fastening them as he pushed his robes over his head and shoulders. He run his hand through his hair as he tired to sort out his thoughts.

"This – all of this", he murmured softly after long minutes of silence, his eyes staring at no particularly spot on the floor, "was a mistake. It will never happen again. _We_ will never happen again."

He could hear the rustle of fabric as Altair moved to sit up, resting his elbows on his knees.

"If I went to far – I apologize. But I can not follow your thoughts."

Malik turned around, his angry gaze sending daggers into Altair. "Blasphemy! It is all blasphemy!"

Altair smirked and Malik wanted to punch him for that.

"Really? Blasphemy? I think it's too late to worry about that."

Malik' grabbed his own hair as if he wanted to pull it out as a frustrated moan passed his lips. "Just go", he told Altair and it almost sounded like a whine.

Now Altair got up and he walked the distance between them until he stood only inches behind Malik. His lifted his arm and his fingers hovered over Malik's shoulder but he didn't dare to touch him, not yet. Finally he closed the distance and turned the man around to face him.  
He leaned in, brushing his lips over Malik's but before he could finish the kiss he withdraw again and instead stared into Malik's eyes that were clouded with anger and fear.

For a few seconds they just stood there looking at each other before Malik's face turned into an angry mask and he used his arm to push Altair away. The push was forceful enough to let him stumble a few steps away.

Altair just stood there staring at his hands for a while before he nodded. "Good. If this is what you want then you should get what you want."

The fist that hit Malik in the stomach caught him off guard. He doubled over in pain as he used his arm immediately to cover his stomach.

"What the fuck?" He stared up furiously at Altair but before he could do anything else, Altair gripped his collar and pulled him upwards again.

"After all we've been through, after everything we'd survived you tell me to leave – that it is over? Why?", he demanded to know. Altair used his left leg and his weight to push Malik back against the wall.

"Altair", Malik slowly said, "let me go."

"No. Not until you tell me the truth."

At this Malik smiled a cruel smile. "Stop acting like a woman Altair. I don't need to explain myself to you. Don't think I owe you anything."

"You owe me _everything_!" Altair shouted, his voice raw with anger and he slammed Malik's right hand against the wall to hold it pinned above his head.

Unimpressed Malik lifted one elegant eyebrow. "Since when?", he asked calmly.

"Since we started to share a bed", he hissed and leaned in closer.

Malik laughed; it was dry and harsh. "Why so modest now Altair? It was sex, just fucking, nothing more, nothing less. So why do you make such a big deal out of it?"

It was Altair's turn to laugh now. "I make a big deal out of this? Tell me Malik, if it's just sex, just fucking as you've said then what is it you're freaking out about?"

For a long time Malik didn't answer and just stared at Altair. Then, finally, he took a deep breath before opening his mouth to talk: "All this time I waited for his punishment but it never came. I guess I got careless, but now... I know better. _He_ never stops watching us." He locked his eyes with Altair's. "This was punishment. We can't put ourselves above the one and only, Altair. We're no gods."

"Gods?", Altair asked and looked dumbfounded. "Is this about Allah?" Malik looked away and said nothing.

"No it's not", Altair whispered. "You never cared about religion just as I did. Nothing is true, everything is permitted. We live by the creed, you told me that many times. Stop lying, Malik. It is me, Altair. Don't you trust me?"

The words hit him like Altair's fist had hit him before in the stomach.

_Trust._

He blinked a few times before he stared at Altair.

Yes, he trusted him, more than anybody else. But could he still trust _himself_? All of this, all of what they had done the last couple of months maybe had went out of their hands. Maybe they had lost control – he knew that he certainly had lost it. Everything he had he had put into Altair's hands. He had given him control, permission to do everything to him he wanted. It was a sin, it was forbidden, it was blissful and it made him feel more alive than anything else. Sometimes when he was close to climax, Altair would press a hand against his throat to hinder him from breathing. It could have killed him, but he had trusted Altair to remove his hand before he would pass out and he'd done just that. To be with Altair was exciting – just the thought of what they had experienced together made his heart race. Malik knew with Altair at his side he could let his guard down. When Altair fucked him he was all vulnerable – but he didn't mind, he never did. In some way fucking wasn't the important part. His own pleasure, his own satisfaction was not that important. What was important was that it were Altair who did all this to him, who shared those moments with him.

Did he trust him?

Yes, there was no lying about that and it never was the point really. But – but what had just happened had scarred him and it was something that was beyond fucking, beyond them sharing their bed as Altair would put it. It was nothing that Altair should know, nothing he wanted to share with him. What he wanted to share with Altair were those moments where he could lose himself, where he could stop thinking and worrying. He wanted to lose himself into that abyss of bliss again.

It had been Robert de Sablé's blade that had cost him his arm – he couldn't let the man take this away from him too, could he? Malik had endured the pain of his arm being cut off. He had endured the loss of his brother. He had endured so much more during his life, this was something he could endure too.

"Of course I do", Malik rasped.

"Then be honest with me."

He leaned into Altair, his lips crushing against his as he felt new desire starting to burn inside of him. His tongue followed the lines of Altair's mouth as he hoped the other one would part his lips for his tongue to enter. But instead Altair withdraw and pulled his arm above his head away from the wall and used his upper hand to throw Malik to the ground. He hovered over him, looking down at him.

"Are you done with your drama?", Altair asked.

Malik nodded slowly. "Yes", he answered, then looked to the side on the floor. "But I need you to do something for me." At those words Altair raised his eyebrows in question. "Yes?"

"Control me. Use me, satisfies me. Cut me and hurt me as you had before."

_Because if I can get pass this nothing will stand between us._

Altair furrowed his brows. Malik could almost see how the thoughts rotated within his head. Then he nodded. "Alright."

Malik looked up at him. "Alright?"

"Yes." Altair nodded.

* * *

Maybe he should have known better. Altair was never the one to give up easily. It didn't really surprise him as he found himself bound and gagged on the floor.

"Beautiful isn't it? I learned it when I traveled through Asia."

A boot tipped into his ribs and Malik rolled to the side. One long rope had been tied and knot around him in multiply places so in the end the rope looked like a complicated pattern on his body. His arm was behind his back but his hand lay upon the small of his back. It crossed on various places upon his chest and stomach and went between his legs back to his bound arm and spine. Altair had undressed him but with the amount of rope he had used on him Malik didn't feel naked. He felt more like a good tied-up package and very secure.

Altair knelt down and used his hands to roll him onto his back. He stared down on Malik while one finger followed the criss-crossing rope. Malik bit down onto his gag as a shiver went up his spine. Saliva dripped down his chin and onto his chest. Altair dug one finger in it and smeared it onto his skin.

"Beautiful", he repeated and kissed Malik on the top of his head.

He leaned back and shifted his weight upon his lap and showed Malik the knife that he was holding. Altair brought his fingers to his chin and tipped them upon it, his gaze focusing on the ceiling as if he was thinking hard about something.

"I still want to know, Malik. I want to know what cracked you." He returned his eyes onto him and brought his right hand down. The blade cut deep into the skin upon his ribs, deep enough now to leave an ugly scar, maybe deep enough for Altair to stitch later and Malik suddenly was very glad for the gag as hot pain exploded in his right side. He closed his eyes in agony and tried to pull away but couldn't. Before he could recover Altair cut him again at the exact same spot he did before. The blade slid through his already bleeding skin and went deeper as before. This was new, something he hadn't felt before and damn it, it hurt. Altair stopped and looked down on Malik, a cruel smile upon his lips. His hand moved again and the knife attacked him for a third time, again cutting through the already existing wound.

Malik's breathing was hard as the pain invaded every part of his body. Altair leaned down to him and brought his lips right next to his ear so the they would brush against his skin.

"Safety and peace, Malik?", he asked him and Malik shook his head. No. This wasn't all he could take. He was far away from his limits and he needed to show that to Altair.

Altair leaned back again. "Very well", he told him and he pressed his left hand against his ribcage before he brought his right one down again. "Watch me", Altair told him and Malik's eyes fluttered open to follow the blade of the knife. He watched how the tip of it slid into his body right underneath his ribs. A scream broke loose which was muffled by the gag as Altair stabbed him with the first inch of the sharp blade.

"You know, as an assassin I know the human anatomy very well", Altair purred. "I know where to stab someone for them to die or where to stab to inflict pain. And this", he twisted the blade and Malik thought he would pass out, "must hurt like hell."

All he could do was lay there, gasping, sweating and panting as Altair finally withdrew the blade and a flow of blood found its way over his skin to the ground.

Altair eyed him for a few seconds and watched him taking deep breaths as he tried to fight the pain which burnt its way through his body. His hand pressed against Malik's chest just above his heart before he pressed his fingers further down until they hovered over the wound at his ribs. His palm connected with it and he made small circling movements, adding a little pressure to it. Malik groaned and tired to roll onto his side but Altair's other hand kept him in place.

Altair's gaze followed his body like a map until they stopped at his crotch. He removed his hand and took a hold of his cock, slicking it with his own blood as he started to stroke the yet soft member. Heat pooled in his lower stomach like liquid metal and slowly spread through his body. Malik closed his eyes to focus on Altair's hand toying with him, shutting out the pain coming from his ribs. Soon his breath hitched and he felt the blood rush through his body down into his cock making the muscle swell. He sighed through his gag as pain and pleasure mixed together. It felt like he was swallowed by something so intense that it was hard to breath through it and all he could really feel was the deep bottomless pit he was falling toward.

"For a moment I feared you were not here with me." Altair's voice collapsed like a wave over him, drowning everything else with it and left Malik open and vulnerable to his touch.

The other hand which had hold Malik's body in place let go of him and started to move in a similar way over his frame as the other one had before. Fingers brushed every curve, trailed over every muscle in such a soft touch that he couldn't help himself but press himself against that hand, carving more of its feeling. When Altair's fingers touched his wounds Malik hissed but it was only for a brief second. He watched Altair collecting his blood onto his hand before it joined the other one on his cock, but he traveled further down until Malik felt curious fingers pressing at his entrance. The blood had made them slick and it didn't take long before two fingers had entered him all the while Altair never stopped stroking him. His hips moved on their own as Malik pressed down onto those skillful fingers that were already buried to the knuckles within him.

His sighs turned into a long moan as Altair started to move and his fingers pumped in and out of his body leaving him in a state of pure ecstasy as they hit his prostate over and over again. A third finger wriggled its way into his entrance and Malik thought he might die by the sheer pleasure he felt rushing through his body.

The first time he had sex with Altair it had felt strange and foreign to him to have something inside his body, buried deep within him. But now after they had done this so many times he just waited for the bliss that was about to come and he never got disappointed.

"All three, Malik. You're a eager today", Altair chuckled and Malik opened is eyes in surprise.

He wanted to speak between panting but the gag forbid such things and he was pushed backwards over the floor by the force of Altair's fingers pumping in and out of him.

Malik watched him smiling down at him. "Three", he repeated as if he would have seen the question sprawled upon his face. "It's like you're swallowing me. Do you need it that bad?", and he almost sounded breathless as he curled his fingers inside of him that sent a bolt of pleasure through Malik and he had to close his eyes at the sheer ecstasy.

"I want to know Malik", Altair leaned over him and his forehead touched his as his lips brushed over his as he spoke. "I want to know what it is that you're keeping from he", his voice breathless and Malik bit down onto his gag as he changed the angle of his fingers going deeper still.

Malik felt himself loose around Altair's hand, his back arching and his toes curling as the tips of those fingers touched his prostate. He heavily panted now not sure if he got enough air through his nose, fearing he might pass out. A whimper broke loose as Malik realized it was not enough and that it never would be. He pressed against Altair as his chest rose off the floor. He felt desperate as if he would suffocate by all the things he felt. Tears started to form at the corners of his eyes as he wished his arm wasn't tied behind his back as he wished to touch Altair to clung onto him and never let go. He wanted, he needed to feel the man above him. There was so much he could take but now he felt like as if Altair was his only anchor to sanity and he just couldn't take a hold of it because of the rope that held his arm in place. Malik shifted his legs and brought them around Altair's waist, his heels digging into his lower back and pushed him forward so he almost fell on top of him if he hadn't let go of his member to bring down his hand next to Malik's head to support himself.

His face was only inches from his own, hovering above him and those golden eyes stared into his and Malik suppressed a shudder.

"I don't want anything to stand between us. I already have your trust Malik." He slipped his other hand free of Malik and he almost whined at the sudden loss of those fingers inside of him. Altair brought his bloodied digits to Malik's cheek his thumb brushing over the gag. "I already have your trust", he repeated those words only in a whisper, "now I want you to give yourself completely to me." His hand broke away from Malik's cheek and Malik felt the tips of his fingers pressing against his throat. They wrapped around the sensitive flesh where the rope was tied securely around it and he pressed down. Malik stared at him wide-eyed as his survival instinct tried to fight Altair and his lungs desperately tried to pump air into them. His body begun to shook as he tried to crawl away from Altair but his mind screamed not to surrender.

Black dots started to dance in front of his eyes and he heard nearby water rushing wildly and loud. His veins started to bulge as the muscles in his throat tensed. He felt cold and hot at the same time, his cock throbbing with need as his view started to darken at the corners.

"Safety and peace, Malik?", he heard Altair asking again from far away, his voice the white light in a sea of darkness.

Before he could collapse, before his mind would lose consciousness the pressure at his throat faded as Altair had withdrawn his hand. Malik hadn't enough time to recover when he felt Altair moving and something pressed at his entrance. Through a layer of thick fog he watched Altair above him, his mouth slightly open as a moan escaped his lips as he buried himself inside of Malik. One of his hands took a hold of Malik's hips, his fingers pressing him down to the ground while his other hand crept over his chest and down his rips until it found the stabbing wound and one of his fingers pressed inside of it. At the same time Altair started to move, thrusting into him in one long and slowly motion that left Malik lightheaded.

Malik screamed against his gag but he couldn't tell if it was because of the pleasure he felt or the sheer pain that Altair's finger created as it wriggled inside of his wound as if it were looking for something.

Altair looked down on him and watched all of Malik's muscles going rigid. Sweat had started to from at his brows and Altair leaned down to lick it away. He burrowed his face at the juncture between Malik's throat and shoulder, gasping at the sensation he felt around his own cock. He used his hand next to Malik's head to press himself up again. The same hand slapped Malik hard in the face and another time and a third time and again and again until all Malik could hear was the ringing inside his ears and all he could feel was Altair's dick thrusting in and out of him as he set for a fast pace.

And all of the sudden it stopped and Malik could have cried had it not been for the gag that was still forced between his lips. The pleasure he felt only seconds before faded and he could feel blood dripping down from his nose. He started to whimper and tried to move his hips as Altair hovered perfectly still above him just watching. He pressed his heels against Altair's back to draw him further inside but it just wasn't enough. His chest felt like as if it was on fire by the pain from Altair's finger pressing into his wound spreading through his body and his head felt like as if it had split open in two halves. Tears were freely running over his cheeks now as he stared up at Altair, desperation and lust whirling within his eyes.

He watched Altair's hand moving and seconds later the gag came free and Malik's head fell back onto the floor, his own rasping loud in the now silent room.

"Then I say it", he heard Altair whispering. "Safety and peace, Malik."

The finger removed itself from his wound and found its way onto his face, tracing the tears which had fallen. He bent down using both his hands next to Malik's head to support himself.

"Tell me", he demanded and Malik couldn't stop the words that started to find their way over his lips.

"I hate you", he whispered hoarsely. "I hate you for how you make me feel, for _what_ you make me feel. All the time I'm confused and it is because of _you_!" He spit out blood and not all of it hit the floor next to him but dripped over his chin down to his chest. His eyes found Altair's and he hold his gaze. He wanted to hold the words inside of him but his tongue got loose and his lips started to move on their own. "I'm scarred – all the time and I don't know what to do. I keep myself asking questions that I don't know the answer to."

Altair moved his hips and Malik gasped as his dick hit his prostate in a delicate way. He moaned and bit on his lips. "I can't – I can't forget the past and when I wake at night screaming I can't remember anything of the dreams but my arm's hurting. It _still_ hurts and every time I look into your face I know it's because of _you_."

He felt Altair slowly moving again and he groaned as the sensation rock through his body and his eyes found Altair's face and it surprised him to see a somewhat hurt expression.

"But when you hold me and when I hear your voice I know the man in front of me is not the same as he was at Solomon's Temple."

Malik gasped and moaned as Altair started to set a slow and tortures pace that made him all aware of his own arousal. "Make me feel whole again. Hurt me and make me forget. I _need_ you for I fear I might lose myself in our past."

Altair reached down and cupped his face, his lips meeting his as he kissed him in such a soft way that he almost wasn't sure if they were really kissing. Malik melted into the kiss and the sensation of Altair's lips brushing against his lit a whole new fire inside of him.

"You don't have to hide Malik. Not around me. I'm here, I'm there for you." And he repeated those last words over and over again as his thrusts became stronger and Malik's gasping between tears became louder.


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you hate me for this?", Altair asked and he changed the angles of his thrusts again and Malik moaned loudly as his eyes pressed shut. "Can you feel it?"

Malik nodded not trusting his own voice. Altair bent down and sunk his teeth into Malik's shoulder almost drawing blood and he gasped in surprise. Altair's tongue licked over the reddening skin and he bit him again before he kissed Malik's lips.

"And this?", he asked again and Malik didn't know if he understood the question. Altair's face was right in front of him and there was curiosity in his eyes as he looked down at Malik.

"What?", Malik gasped before Altair stopped his movements once more. He waited a few seconds for Malik to catch his breath before he went down and kissed him again but this time longer and with more force.

"This?", he asked, nibbling at Malik's ear.

"I dont – think I understand."

A low chuckle erupted from Altair's chest and Malik groaned as Altair's cock moved with his low laughter inside of him.

"What do you feel? It's not that hard of a question I believe."

"I feel like going insane if you don't continue." Anger swung with Malik's voice.

Altair's fingers brushed through his hair as he lowered himself to completely cover Malik's body.

"Do you feel safe with me?"

And Malik's frowned at the question.

Well, of course he did. It might sound strange but he never felt safer as when he was tied up and at Altair's mercy. He nodded slowly. Chills run down his body and he wiggled his hips to encourage Altair to continue. His cock was painfully hard and there was nothing he wanted more as to fall into the abyss of bliss and shut everything else out. He closed his eyes in frustration as Altair didn't made any attempt to move.

"Do not deny, Malik", he whispered and suddenly Malik knew and his eyes fluttered open. Everything made sense as he felt the answers to his questions burning deep inside of him. He _felt_ so much that he almost couldn't bare it. He wished for his arm, he wished to hold Altair to seek more of his touch, more of his skin against his. Bright light invaded all of his senses as he tried to hold himself at the surface of everything which threatened to drown him. Everything inside of him went warm, nothing like the hot burning passion but a deep feeling of trust, safety and...

"Untie me, please", he croaked and was surprised how foreign his own voice sounded. The knots became loose as he heard the knife slicing through his bindings and his arm went forward to hold Altair as his nails dug into the skin of his back.

With that Altair moved again, fast and unforgivable and Malik thought he might burst. He pressed his face into Altair's shoulder as he gasped for air and a whole new wave of pleasure hit him and threatened to drown him. He bit onto his lips trying to ride the wave a little bit longer just to feel _more_ to feel _complete_ for a few seconds but then it all crushed. With a silent cry he came, hard. His whole body clenched and as he heard Altair moaning right next to his ear it sent him over the edge and falling all over again.

He fell and it wouldn't stop as the room around him exploded into white light by the force of his own orgasm. He felt hot liquid splashing against his and Altair's stomach and he suddenly knew why some of the women would speak of "the little death" during sex.

After that a few seconds long nothing happened. Altair had collapsed onto him, his breathing hard and erratic. Sweat was glistening on his skin and his breathing echoed loudly in Malik's ear.

Finally Altair removed himself from him and rolled down to his side and stopped laying on his back as one hand covered his eyes.

Malik still gasped for air as he slowly started to feel his body again and all the wounds upon it. The blood circulation in his arm had been disconnected the whole time and it felt numb to him and started to tingle now. He lifted his head and watched how his sperm mixed with the blood on his stomach and how the wound near his ribs was still bleeding.

Altair didn't move next to him.

"I'm still having nightmares", he spoke softly into the silence as his own eyes closed again. "And on some days I can't find the energy to get up at all." He laughed softly and it sounded harsh. Altair peaked one eye open and watched him from the corner of his eyes. "I – panicked. Earlier. When you had cut me. It reminded me of how... how they had cut off my left arm. It terrifies me to think", he swallowed hard, " – to think that something could happen to my right arm." He heard Altair moving but he didn't dare to open his eyes.

Hot breath crawled over his face as he felt Altair lying next to him, his head settling on his shoulder.

Finally Malik opened his eyes and he looked down onto Altair. "I don't hate you."

"I know", he murmured lazily his eyes closed as one of his arms encircled Malik's chest and pressed him closer.

"Altair, I lo-"

"Don't.", Altair interrupted him. "You don't have to say it. I know." And he lifted his head to place a kiss upon Malik's lips.

Malik's legs crossed over Altair's as he tried to turn into the man next to him but hissed as he felt the pain from the cuts on his chest.

"Altair, you bastard", he forced out between clenched teeth and looked to his side.

Altair didn't move as if he hadn't heard him at all, his breath deepening as he fell slowly asleep.

* * *

**Fin**


End file.
